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Without a doubt one of the most common things people dream of and want to have in their life is a healthy and long lasting relationship. However the sad reality is that the rate of divorce and breakups continue to rise each and every year, and practically in most countries of the world. This is the sad reality of our world.

While there are a various factors that is contributing to the increased divorce and breakup rates in our society, these reasons are really not the focus of this article. We will instead be looking at how you can ensure that when that divorce does happen, you can make it as painless as it can possibly be.


Haven said, that, here are 8 steps to ensuring you have a smooth divorce process.

  1. Ensure you are as knowledgeable as possible on the entire process of a divorce process from the beginning to the end. Perhaps the first thing you can do is to use the internet to do some research and get as much information as possible. Specifically reading up on how the process plays out in your particular state, as it is possible that the process differs from state to state. In other words, read up on the statute that is applicable to your state with regards divorce.

  2. Purchase books on Divorce. Reading relevant books is yet another advisable step to take. The one thing books will do is to give you a general overview of the process. And while books alone will not give you all the information you need, it can take you a long way on the journey as well as give you the foundational knowledge. So places like your local library. is a great place to start. Or alternatively, if you have access to a law firm, perhaps because you have a friend who works there, then they likely might have a bookshelf with several books that will do the job.

    One note of caution is that laws change, and books do not. And while books might have a newer edition with more updated information, you could easily have gotten your hands on the older edition, which contains the outdated law and information. So be careful and verify everything you read with other sources.

  3. Most times, divorces can be quite messy and bitter. It would do you and your soon-to-be-ex to be civil to each other throughout the process. Whether it is for the sake of any children you may both have together, or if it is for the sake of your physical and emotional health, or any other reason, it is best for both of you to take “the high road,” even when the other person is being nasty. Also, chances are that if or when you get before a divorce judge, the person who has taken the high road stands a chance of being more favored by the judge.

  4. Once it has been confirmed that you and your spouse will be getting a divorce, besides the normal process that should follow is that you should begin to plan for your life after divorce. Start making plans for where you will live, if you have to leave your family home. Make plans for how you will handle any child custody settlements.

  5. As with most things in life, you can only only understand where the person is coming from when you put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Empathy is something that can take you very far in your relationships with other people, and in this case, with your soon-to-be-ex.

    After that, you need to make an educated guess as to what types of outcomes you think your soon-to-be-ex will prefer. Write down as many of these outcomes as you can think of and keep these handy so you can begin to prepare for all these possible outcomes.

  6. Once you have written down some of these possible outcomes from point 5, you should now have a general overview of what you think  your spouse will do. Armed with that information, you should then try and work out a few combinations of give and take that might be suitable for both parties, so that at the end of the day, it turns out to be a win-win situation.

  7. Make sure you are actively involved with the entire process of your divorce proceedings. The main end-goal that should be at the back of your mind is a peaceful settlement with your spouse. Therefore, as has previously been implied, you should be gunning for a win-win settlement. You should also not be afraid to ask your lawyer any question. The better informed you are, the better you come out of the process.

  8. Lastly, make sure you understand everything you have read about the divorce process. And for anything you are unsure of, make sure that you ask your attorney to explain it to you in simple terms.